Posted on August 21 2016
I am normally quite calm. Relatively cruisey. But sometimes, ok, a lot, I feel rage. Pure, unadulterated rage. I can go from peace loving earth mother to raving lunatic in 2 seconds flat. My eyes roll back, my blood boils and Im gone. My inner monologue soothingly tells me to calm the F down. I know I'm overreacting. But it happens. It's fleeting. I get over it quite fast, but it happens. I have 'anger issues'.
Rachel and I were discussing this the other day. It seems though that my triggers are small things. Unimportant things. You open your car door onto mine at Woolies, I'm going to shrug. Tell you 'hey don't worry, it's cool', and move on. But the things I've listed below, really rile us up. (Me more than her...)
Here they are:
1. When you're filling up the sauce bottle and it goes too fast at the end and it slops over the top.
2. When you cook spaghetti and make enough to feed an entire 3rd world nation.
3. When you unwrap plastic cheese and the wrapper rips
4. When the Jar of tomato paste you only used once has mould in it. (and you scoop it out and use it anyway)
5. When you drop the soap in the shower only on the days where you don't want to wet your hair.
6. When you perfect a messy bun then one stray hair hurts and you dig around your scalp looking for the critter
7. When you make saladas for lunch and they don't break down the middle
8. Opening chupa chups
9. When you butter the bread on the wrong side and it doesn't match up when you put it together
10. When the kids don't close their car door properly and the child lock is on and you have to get out.
11. When you get to someone's house and they have a gate
12. When I ash my cigarette in my coffee instead of the ash tray next to it
13. When people do Facebook check-ins at the Northern hospital with no explanation
14. When someone does a Facebook status 'feeling sad 😢...' then doesn't write why, but says 'I'll pm you hunni'. (This is probably my number 1).
15. When people tell me I look tired when I think I look f*cking fabulous.
16. When people don't move their car at the petrol bowser.
17. When someone considerably younger than you call you 'darl' or 'hunni' or 'babe'
18. When you brush past a tree after it's been raining and the drops go down your collar onto your neck.
19. When you toss something in the bin and you miss and you have to bend over and pick it up.
20. When there is an upside down cup in the dishwasher, and it gets full of water then spills on the clean dry dishes
21. When I'm grating cheese and I grate a fingernail and then can't find it in the cheese.
22. When your kid stands on the back of your Havaiianas and the plug comes out.
23. When you add an extra step in the beauty routine and end up forgetting to put on your mascara.
24. When you cook toast and someone left it on the crumpet setting
25. When you drop the margarine lid and it falls marge side down.
26. When you make a cake and are too lazy to do the eggs in a separate bowl and you crack one into the batter and there's a developing chicken foetus in there
27. When the car in front of you uses their windscreen washers and they shoot over their car and hit yours.
28. When I bump my head. (Extra rage if someone sees it)
29. Tissue in the wash
30. Nappy in the wash
31. Crayon in the dryer - I can't even describe what this did
32. When someone else drives my car and moves the seat position
33. Wet feet
34. When someone puts the vegemite lid on the peanut butter and vice versa
35. 1432 items in someone's trolley at the self serve register
36. When there's a spoon in the sink, you turn the tap on and get showered from it
37. When you put your doona in the cover the wrong way
38. When my autocorrect chooses 'ducking' even though it's clearly not what I meant
39. Negative people.
How ironic...
Tell me some of the things that make you crazy, even though you know you are being ridiculous.
Claire X
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